So, as I start this new life – I find myself applying many of my ‘work’ tactics towards the everyday of being a stay-at-home mom and wife.  When I worked at my agency – I was focused on profitability, new business development, creating sustainable plans and creative marketing tactics for my clients, elevating my staff to new opportunities and roles and challenges.

And to do this, like many, I attended a lot of meetings;  client meetings; employee meetings, brainstorming sessions, process meetings, strategy meetings, crisis intervention meetings… lots of meetings.  And one of the things that a great mentor once taught me was to approach each meeting with GRR.  (no, I’m not growling at you.) GRR stands for Goals – Roles – and Rules.  She said we have to establish these every time we sit down at a meeting  – and speak them out loud so that everyone is on the same page. Here’s the link to my friend Shirley Stelbrink’s business

What is the Goal of this meeting?  What Role do I play? (and does everyone else around the table play) and what are the Rules?   Seems simple, eh?  But how many times have we all been in a meeting where everyone is catching everyone else’s eye with a confused look like – “what is this about?”  and “do they really want my feedback or should I just sit here and smile and nod? Unfortunately, the GRR is often very unclear and goes unspoken.

And now – I find myself thinking about my new life in the same way.  What is my GRR? I have an ongoing dialogue in my head about “what is my goal today? this week? this month? in general?  What role do I play? or do I expect my husband and kids to play?   What rules do I need to play by and expect others to follow?

When I first “retired” I made a list of my goals.  I had them categorized into three main areas;

  1. Home Life — create a peaceful environment that will create peace for my husband and kids.  Create moments for my kids that will shape the core values they can carry forward throughout their lives.
  2. Family –  Nourish relationships with my family and be an anchor of connectivity.  This means spending quality time with my Dad, host family dinners and events, be there for my sisters and extended family.
  3. Me – Devote time to being the best me I can be so I can better accomplish goals 1 and 2.  Exercise, write, pray, volunteer.

And now 3 months into it, I am pulling out those goals again and trying to remind myself not to get caught just sitting at the meeting table of this new life looking around at everyone and wondering what I am doing here?  Just as we have to announce these at the beginning of each workplace meeting,  I have had to keep reiterating these goals to myself. And, I realize that my role is different depending on the situation (I can’t always be the one in charge) and the rules are different now than they were when I was working out of the home.  Each day I’m making new rules; like don’t say yes to every volunteer opportunity that crosses your path, let go of the fact that your home does not look like a pottery barn catalog page,  and remember to smile at your kids everyday.

When it comes down to it – I think this being an adult thing is hard no matter if you’re working out of your home or in it.  And finding little tricks of structure help keep us sane.  So GRR…… I say…. GRR……..

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About Katherine MP Smith

40ish wife, mother, sister, cousin, friend, Christian, Catholic, sinner, writer and singer. Bringing faith to a virtual world