Tell me I’m not the only one.
I get sucked into the vortex of my thumb sliding, swiping and swooshing on my phone screen as I scroll the countless posts of what everyone in the world I know (or even sorta know) is doing on Facebook. And after a few minutes I feel my neck tighten, shoulders start to ache, and stomach almost start to feel woozy. I think to myself… Have I been struck by some odd medical phenomenon where the screen glow is making me physically ill? Have I been sitting in an odd position too long and I’m starting to cramp up? But, I sigh a heavy sigh, press that round silver lined button at the bottom of my handheld device, and watch the pictures and posts decompress into the blue “F” icon- and I realize it’s no illness, it’s the C word.
Thoughts fill my head… Will my kids look that happy on vacation? Will my daughter read soon like her daughter does? Do I tell my Dad I love him enough? Am I as faith filled as her? Maybe I should compost and raise chickens? I haven’t read a book cover to cover in forever, how can I answer a quiz about a book I last read? Gosh she looks great in a swimsuit, I can’t imagine posting a picture of me in one. I wish they would invite my kids to their parties. If only I had a group of girlfriends who got together each month like that. Maybe I need to go on a retreat too? I need to run a full marathon. Dear Lord, my kids have never picked strawberries.
It’s mind numbing.
I wish I could shut it off and just enjoy the..
But the biggest C word that consumes me while swiping is “Comparing”
I compare myself and my world to nearly everything I see. And it makes me feel sick. Physically sick. As though I am missing something. Not living life to the fullest. Not doing my best. Not being the person God intended.
And when I realize I’m doing it, then I feel even worse.
Why do I do it?? Why?? I am more than blessed. I have an amazing husband; good God-fearing kids, an amazing extended family, wonderful friends who I know would come bail me out if needed or visit me if I got sick. I’m surrounded by a village of people who care for me and about me and let me do the same for them. I am healthy, I laugh everyday (for the most part). I have had the privilege of being successful in business and now I have the honor to work at being successful as a mom. So why does my head hurt and chest ache after 7 minutes of thumb pushing?
Is it just me or does anyone else suffer the poison of the C?
Well, alone or not. I’m really going to try to stop. I don’t really want to delete Facebook all together. I know it’s my issue – not the apps.
Care to join me in stamping out the C?
I believe if ..
-I am present in my own reality (meaning instead of worrying about if my daughter will ever read just pick up a darn book and read it to her)
-mindful of my blessings (meaning being thankful for every moment and opportunity presented before me good and bad)
-and intentional in looking for the opportunity to serve instead of being served. (Meaning if I want to have a group of girlfriends get together for a girls night out- then I better get to planning it )
…Then my mind will shift and I can change my C from Comparing to Content